Hi, Stephen! It’s Jen again. I printed a copy of our notes from today and left them in a folder in your desk—left middle drawer, I think, or maybe top—either way, it’s in there— Hang on, someone is playing their music without headphones and it’s awful, it’s mostly just screaming, let me find somewhere quieter—
[ the click of a door, and the background office chatter disappears. ]
All right, better. Anyway. I wanted to ask you, do you think you’re more of a chipmunk or a badger? See you tomorrow!
[ Picked up early the next shift, responding top of his to-do list - ]
Jen. Good morning. First of all, thank you. Got the notes right here, leafing through them now. As always, I appreciate your diligence. Couldn't do it without you — except on the days they assign me someone else, then what choice do I have. But you set a high bar. Second, you should raise that with HR - the music. That's gotta be a work code violation.
To your question, are you pulling my pigtails? I know I'm going gray, you don't have to point it out. [ Little huff of breath - mute laughter. ] Badger. You too, while I'm at it. Chipmunk's the obvious answer, but I saw the look on your face when you thought somebody stole the critter you had pegged for the new guy.
[ during lunch hour, which—around here—is really more like lunch-fifteen-minutes: ]
No offense, Stephen, but I’m not sure pigtails are the right look for you. Are you envious of my braid? You might have enough hair for a tiny little one. Remind me on Monday and I’ll bring my selection of butterfly clips for you to peruse.
Oh, I don’t think I’m a chipmunk or a badger. But I’d like you to guess what sort of animal I might like to be. Did you know that honey badgers go for the scrotum when they attack larger animals?
[ A couple hours later on the second of Stephen's lunch fifteen minutes (prone to carving all lucky typists thirty minutes of reprieve from the days they work with him by insisting they take their breaks separately, something HR can't do anything about without more of a fight with him than it's really worth) - ]
How about two small ones at the front? You can clip them into my silver.
Also, you can't give me a choice of two animals and then expect me to reference the entire animal kingdom when I'm playing the same game for you. The options were badger or chipmunk, you've got to choose. Personally I think you just made my case.
See you Monday.
[ Which is, for all intents and purposes, just a little later in their neverending today. ]
Who took this footage? I'm not comfortable with hidden cameras in the workplace.
[ Except there are inevitably hidden cameras everywhere in the workplace, and he remembers grass only as a concept, a thing he knows he's touched before but can't recall ever touching.
Today I'm thinking about the way your back pockets sit on your butt. It's really perfect. I'm sorry I spilled coffee on your shoe the other week. You handled it well even though I could tell you wanted to snap at me. (That just means we have seamless nonverbal communication.) I wouldn't have minded that, either. Sometimes the world feels a little numb, but then you walk in through the door and the whole office lights up. That's why everyone's eyes look so small in early AM. Your radiance.
For your frame of reference, this is what my handwriting looks like.
I'm arranging a wellness afternoon on Tuesday. We are playing poker. You can bring a plus one so long as they aren't a dirty cheat and won't make moon eyes at you the whole time.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice note ☎️
[ the click of a door, and the background office chatter disappears. ]
All right, better. Anyway. I wanted to ask you, do you think you’re more of a chipmunk or a badger? See you tomorrow!
no subject
Jen. Good morning. First of all, thank you. Got the notes right here, leafing through them now. As always, I appreciate your diligence. Couldn't do it without you — except on the days they assign me someone else, then what choice do I have. But you set a high bar. Second, you should raise that with HR - the music. That's gotta be a work code violation.
To your question, are you pulling my pigtails? I know I'm going gray, you don't have to point it out. [ Little huff of breath - mute laughter. ] Badger. You too, while I'm at it. Chipmunk's the obvious answer, but I saw the look on your face when you thought somebody stole the critter you had pegged for the new guy.
Thanks again for yesterday. I'll see you later.
no subject
No offense, Stephen, but I’m not sure pigtails are the right look for you. Are you envious of my braid? You might have enough hair for a tiny little one. Remind me on Monday and I’ll bring my selection of butterfly clips for you to peruse.
Oh, I don’t think I’m a chipmunk or a badger. But I’d like you to guess what sort of animal I might like to be. Did you know that honey badgers go for the scrotum when they attack larger animals?
no subject
How about two small ones at the front? You can clip them into my silver.
Also, you can't give me a choice of two animals and then expect me to reference the entire animal kingdom when I'm playing the same game for you. The options were badger or chipmunk, you've got to choose. Personally I think you just made my case.
See you Monday.
[ Which is, for all intents and purposes, just a little later in their neverending today. ]
no subject
us hanging out 🦡🦡💜✨
no subject
Who took this footage? I'm not comfortable with hidden cameras in the workplace.
[ Except there are inevitably hidden cameras everywhere in the workplace, and he remembers grass only as a concept, a thing he knows he's touched before but can't recall ever touching.
He hearts her message, for good measure. ]
delivery 💌 anonymous hand-written love note!
Today I'm thinking about the way your back pockets sit on your butt. It's really perfect. I'm sorry I spilled coffee on your shoe the other week. You handled it well even though I could tell you wanted to snap at me. (That just means we have seamless nonverbal communication.) I wouldn't have minded that, either. Sometimes the world feels a little numb, but then you walk in through the door and the whole office lights up. That's why everyone's eyes look so small in early AM. Your radiance.
note ♥
For your frame of reference, this is what my handwriting looks like.
I'm arranging a wellness afternoon on Tuesday. We are playing poker. You can bring a plus one so long as they aren't a dirty cheat and won't make moon eyes at you the whole time.
Warm Regards
James