OurPowers contact available at: Dr. Stephen Strange (public/business) Instagram/Twitter contact available at: strangemagic (personal/stealth account) Implant contact available at: stephen.strange (meadowlark craus only)
[Loki jokingly looks around the room for someone else, as if he can't believe that Stephen would ever make such a mistake! Gasp!
But at the mention of change, he thinks back on what his past self once told him.]
"Change or die. I would rather die than not change." ... Loki said that. The one before me.
The narrative was starting to take hold of me here, I think. Not just the plot trying to carry itself out, but the role of Loki too. Everyone told me I was like him.
[ To be a being of story sounds nothing short of exhausting. Mortal existence is trying enough, especially when you throw in life as one of the dimension's primary defenders, but at least his journey is decided by his own two feet, however many stupid missteps they might make. ]
I'm not going to pretend to know what that's like. But if you're not happy being told who you are, it might be time to start talking over people when they try to fit you into shapes you've outgrown.
But I've spent so long doing exactly that. Every meeting, every conversation I've had since I got here, since I was reborn even... has centered around telling the other that I am not the Loki they know.
[And while he won't deny that he is different from other Lokis and certainly his own person,]
I'm tired of hating myself. When I'm faced with other Lokis, I expect the worst because that is what I've been to taught to expect of myself. Why is it so bad if I'm like the old man? Thor loved him still.
[ It's what he's had to do, in order to grow. He's no god. He's not even sure he can entirely be called mortal anymore, the number of times he's died and the number of lives he's seen. But, even so, ]
We're constantly layering selves over selves, god or not. He was a stepping stone to you, the same as anyone alive was once a stepping stone to themselves. You don't have to denounce yourself to acknowledge past mistakes, and you don't have to be willing to repeat them to accept who you've been.
I don't know. I've never met him, I know next to nothing about him. But he's also not you. Saying I'd welcome him is as arbitrary as saying I'd welcome your second cousin twice removed. It doesn't mean you're any less welcome for having been him.
And you're defeating your own object. My opinion of the yous you've been isn't the one you want to change.
no subject
But at the mention of change, he thinks back on what his past self once told him.]
"Change or die. I would rather die than not change." ... Loki said that. The one before me.
The narrative was starting to take hold of me here, I think. Not just the plot trying to carry itself out, but the role of Loki too. Everyone told me I was like him.
no subject
I'm not going to pretend to know what that's like. But if you're not happy being told who you are, it might be time to start talking over people when they try to fit you into shapes you've outgrown.
no subject
[And while he won't deny that he is different from other Lokis and certainly his own person,]
I'm tired of hating myself. When I'm faced with other Lokis, I expect the worst because that is what I've been to taught to expect of myself. Why is it so bad if I'm like the old man? Thor loved him still.
no subject
Then embrace him.
[ It's what he's had to do, in order to grow. He's no god. He's not even sure he can entirely be called mortal anymore, the number of times he's died and the number of lives he's seen. But, even so, ]
We're constantly layering selves over selves, god or not. He was a stepping stone to you, the same as anyone alive was once a stepping stone to themselves. You don't have to denounce yourself to acknowledge past mistakes, and you don't have to be willing to repeat them to accept who you've been.
no subject
no subject
And you're defeating your own object. My opinion of the yous you've been isn't the one you want to change.
no subject
Perhaps you're right, though. Perhaps I shouldn't have cared so much about being trusted in the first place.
no subject
no subject
Mm, but that sounds too responsible. And I'm Loki.