[ a crash on the other end of the line — Fitz finding something and chucking it. he knows the statistics, can calculate the odds of return (knowing that the chances of further disappearances increase after your first time).
they're canaries in a coal mine. even if she comes back, there's no promise of a happy ending.
why does this always happen to him, to her, to them? the universe stole Jemma away before their first date, dragging her through a portal in spacetime to a far-flung planet, and it took him six harrowing months to find her. another opening swallowed his team and took them to a doomed future. six months again, and he still hadn't figured it out.
nine months total now, with three months here. and he's not clever enough to find her 'cause of course he isn't. ]
She's out there alone —
[ a sharp inhale. or she's nowhere at all, slipping into the same nothingness that threatened to pull him under when he was trapped in another dimension. ]
We have to do something. [ desperate, and he knows it. ] We have to — boost the signal. Find her.
[ Fitz spirals off, losing hold. as he does, Stephen settles in, becomes firm. solid, unwavering. it's all there is to do. ]
If there's a way, we'll find it. But we don't have it yet. [ and the only experience he has, the only comfort he can think to offer is - ] She doesn't even know she's gone.
[ as is often the case, Stephen positions himself as a counterweight. it doesn't prove comforting, but it provides enough grounding. Fitz makes a strangled sound of frustration, easing back from the edges of a tantrum. ]
Okay. Okay. [ nope, not there yet. ] Okay. [ there it is, wobbly but accepting it now. she's gone, and they can't bring her back, not yet. ] We need to — stay on this. Dig deeper.
[ he's already thinking about how, considering Pulsar's research and the nature of this world's efforts to colonise the cosmos. ]
Can't afford to lose you again, so. [ then, quieter. ] Just — check-in with me, Stephen.
[ despite his stubbornness, Fitz knows there have been various missteps in his relationships here, including his off-and-on friendship with Strange, 'cause he's out of practice (and out of sorts). only there isn't time for it, when they could all be gone, flickering out of this world in a heartbeat.]
[ now isn't the time to follow up with how little difference it'll make. if he's going to go, he'll go regardless of how many times a week he calls to say he's still here. daisy lived with them and that didn't change a thing. ]
I will.
[ it won't make a difference to his stability in this world, but it may make a difference to Fitz's. ]
We can't afford to lose you, either. [ perhaps more so. Stephen's background is tangentially useful and his expertise are required every so often, but Fitz has the sort of mind that helps here. and seems to be building the sorts of connections that might get them somewhere going forward.
that, and Stephen's not sure there are many ways to come back from a breakdown here. he'd rather not leave Fitz to take the dummy run of finding out, even if it means pulling sharp on the emotional leash. ] Don't go off the rails on this.
[ it's all part of fitz's balancing act, walking the line between pessimistic rationalism and overflowing emotionality. Strange's agreement helps. another tug back from the jagged edge.
at we can't afford to lose you, either, he starts to say something, wanting to dispute it in but knowing he can't. 'course they all need to start in this fight, for as long as they're here. god, he wants to run at something — to make a daring, risky move, if it'd meaning getting an answer to all this. ]
I'm not — I wouldn't. [ he would. he might. he already is, slipping in and out of control. strange is right to say don't outright, cutting him off before he can make a reckless call. sure, it's putting a plaster on a bullet wound, but the direction will buy them both time. ]
[ though - and gently now, not with pity but a need to be heard over the frenzy of the most immediate blow, ] —If you need to talk about this - [ it's assumptive, and he stops. ... it's also important. ] We've been here a long time now.
[ not a long time in the grand scheme of a life, but a lot longer than any of them would've hoped. with no real end in sight, with new strain coming weekly and old weight never lifted, it's long enough to turn a person incendiary. ]
[ oh. that unbalances him most of all. he and stephen arrived together in the first wave, and met almost immediately, with swings and roundabouts in the three months since. time is the longest distance between two places, and he feels it keenly, like a shrike in his side.
a lengthy pause follows. ]
We have. [ a slow admission. vulnerability makes everyone uneasy. and fitz, in particular, has found that it primes him for exploitation. it takes another moment for him to unpack the instinct to spurn the offer, and instead say, ]
We could catch up later. [ slightly rephrasing "talk about this" yep ] If you're not too busy.
[ there's no saying what's going to come after that pause. experience states most rejections come fast, but that's not a promise. so it's a pleasant surprise when the response finally arrives.
whether or not either of them are really ready to allow themselves vulnerability, it's a start ]
Sure.
[ he's not too busy. and even if he were, some things warrant a reschedule. ]
[ bobbi's calling him home for a spy's-not-quite-goodbye (traditionally, a drink lifted in honour those going or gone), and strange has left him an opening. somewhere to go later, when he's crested over the wave of daisy's loss into a more solid form acceptance and grief.
so fitz will, in a rare moment of reliability, shoot off a text that evening: ]
[ the fact that fitz is the last of the modern shield trio to visit is something. the fact that daisy was the first, and that the beer is courtesy of her on that first visit, is another something
well, may as well use it to commiserate. that was always what it was for. ]
[ a surreal experience on the whole, to be sure, but then again, they're in a hell dimension, so... ]
Thanks. Be there shortly.
[ and he will, buzzing up to Strange's flat in his typical business casual attire (blazer folded over his arm, sleeves rolled to the elbow, and rucksack over his shoulders). evening for them is when the light first starts peaking through the sky. just add the upside down schedule to the list of bizarre happenings, eh. ]
[ better had. at least a list brings a little meaningless order to the chaos.
speaking of lists, Fitz's I.D goes added to the small and soon to be defunct list of implants with access to his place, and he'll find the man of the house sloping around in the sort of wizard slob getup he favors at "home" - all soft fabrics and no sharp angles. he'll also find two ready-poured beers sitting on the everything-but-coffee table in the sparse front room. idle hands hadn't been able to help themselves.
the place itself is fairly open plan as far as its social areas, kitchen visible from the lounge and lounge itself peppered with the bare minimum. functional furniture, little in the way of decor, but the far wall's a window and the panes have yet to darken against the oncoming day. it's nice to be able to watch the dawn pool in around the buildings packed in close. he'll black the glass out once it's done.
he's slightly distracted by it as he welcomes Fitz in. ]
[ even if they don't intend to stay, many of displaced have settled into this world (Connor and Markus' house feels like a home, for instance, with traces of the both of them on every surface). team SHIELD's flat feels like their own, as much a headquarters as a place of rest, like every base before it. not so, however, with Stephen Strange's soon-to-be-vacated apartment.
Fitz pauses by the door (a little awkward, a little out of place), at first watching the light and then glancing around the room, too still. not much to take in, besides the friend (?) and beer waiting for him, so he recalibrates quickly enough. just a startled and short laugh at the quip, loosening him up. he discards his bag and blazer (folded neatly over the arm of a chair 'cause Fitz is fussy in all things). ]
Never a dull moment. [ said as he drops in opposite Stephen, a haphazard sort of collapse that warrants a wince. stupid, to forget his bruised insides; that's all. otherwise, he's all tired lines, with most of the minor damage smoothed over. ]
[ dryly, ] You sure you want to leave all this [ a sweeping gesture. ] to become the on-site landlord for our lot?
It's a sacrifice, sure. [ joking, flippant, and followed by a shrug. ] But who doesn't want to live rent free?
[ it's an inside joke mostly with himself, he of penthouse apartment and Greenwich Village magic mansion fame. he self-indulgently laughs at it too (smiles at it really, the laugh one vaguely-there note and a brief jerk of the chest like a cough) because it's one of those days, then reaches for a beer to help him swallow it down. because it's not funny for about as many reasons as it is. most of them the same reasons. ]
Edited (bracket went off on an adventure all of its own) 2019-02-24 23:48 (UTC)
[ he snorts at that, even without the context. a year ago, he'd been so fussy over the rent while flat-hunting with jemma. seems a million parsecs away now. probably 'cause it is.
a generous swig of his beer. ]
For the low price of responsibility. [ great responsibility, as some might say. for the displaced, for the site, the new arrivals. fitz doesn't envy him, being generally unsuited for leadership (backseat driving, however). ] Is that all — going okay?
[ a hum - of the affirmative? sort of. more acknowledgement than anything. the whole thing had taken a back seat after their recent interaction with the UNA, but - ]
Markus'll be consulting the class soon. Hold that thought and ask me again in a week.
[ group-wide conversation of recent weeks has had a decent amount to show them, and he's not expecting a smooth ride. but mostly it's a joke. that's the next hurdle, for now everything's smooth sailing. ]
It's going fine. We're working well together, Gaby's on side. Once we've got a plan drafted she'll pass it on to Morningstar and we'll have a better sense of what kind of support we can expect. It's all a little more bureaucratic than I was expecting my life to be, but we'll get there. [ a path paved with headaches, sure, but a certain path all the same. it'll happen because it has to happen. they don't have any other options outside of leaving new arrivals to burn and spreading the newer intakes across the couches of whoever has one to spare when their welcome at (or the existence of) the current safehouse expires. ] —How about you? How's work?
[ what do you actually do that'd give you enough money to help a guy out. ]
Glad to hear it, then. [ looking down at his beer, thoughtful. ] Proper collaboration can only help us going forward.
[ group input, a successful partnership with Morningstar (and Gaby), it all sets a good example. hopefully they can keep walking that path together. another drink, and he glances back to Strange. ]
S'good, actually. [ like he's surprised. maybe he is. the corners of his mouth quirk. ] Moved from generic engineering with Vyonation to aerospace with Pulsar at the start of the month. Still elementary stuff, but it's a lot more interesting, y'know.
[ for the kid who might've worked for NASA or the like, if he hadn't been recruited by SHIELD at 16, with artwork of the stars on his bedroom walls even now. after a beat. ]
And the Hi-Jacks just want good work, so. [ biting the inside of his cheek. ] No problems yet. [ lilted wryly. ]
[ 'cause he's already gotten a lecture or two on playing with the gangs. it's the right move, strategically, and he stands by it. wouldn't have access to the facilities he needs to build gear under the radar without them. (it helps that he likes them,
overall, fitz has settled in well (when one ignores the chasms left in the absence of his partner, his team, and now daisy, specifically). ]
[ all told, the complete picture amounts to a man who has his shit together as much as one can here. Stephen's glad it can be said of one of them, even if they keep knocking into setback after setback. Fitz seems well enough able to adapt. this latest blow will hit hard, but he's built himself an infrastructure here. he'll be okay.
and if that infrastructure involves a little of the underground, better to be part of it than have it cave out from under them later down the line. this isn't Stephen's wheelhouse. he'll spare Fitz the lecture, especially today. ]
"Yet" works fine for now. Heard any whispers from them on anything else?
[ shitstorms, shrines, etc. does the gang work tree bear fruit beyond its most immediate perks? ]
[ that's Fitz, reliant on the routine to keep him together, for want of the internal infrastructure to do so. it mostly works.
he starts picking at the label on he bottle, not paper but a thicker compound. must be better for recycling. ]
There are three things the gangs want no part in. Not just the Hi-Jacks, but all the rest, too. The 66s, the Warlocks and the Kings.
[ supplied in the event Stephen should ever need to judge a situation where the names arise. given the displaced's myriad ties to the underground, it's an eventuality that could plague their new safehouse. ]
[ he holds up a finger. ] First, the UNA. They won't speak of them, won't raid their transports, won't trade their tech. That's for arms-dealers and the higher-ups in organised crime, working with the Petrov Family and the Riverside Mob. [ and another, ] Second, Morningstar. [ wryly, ] Morningstar has a PR problem across the city, as you've noticed, but the gangs fear their war with the UNA, specifically. It's become clear to them that Morningstar agents were in their midst, after several of their own disappeared following the raids, so they're on the defensive. [ which means he needs to be even more careful, playing double-agent. he flashes his hand one more time, three fingers held up. ]
Lastly, they don't want to be associated with any of the mad happenings in the city. [ sighing, ] They're pretty irritated that the news outlets try to link them to things like the outbreak, y'know. Reckon if there's more to be learned, it's higher up the food chain, with the crime families.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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they're canaries in a coal mine. even if she comes back, there's no promise of a happy ending.
why does this always happen to him, to her, to them? the universe stole Jemma away before their first date, dragging her through a portal in spacetime to a far-flung planet, and it took him six harrowing months to find her. another opening swallowed his team and took them to a doomed future. six months again, and he still hadn't figured it out.
nine months total now, with three months here. and he's not clever enough to find her 'cause of course he isn't. ]
She's out there alone —
[ a sharp inhale. or she's nowhere at all, slipping into the same nothingness that threatened to pull him under when he was trapped in another dimension. ]
We have to do something. [ desperate, and he knows it. ] We have to — boost the signal. Find her.
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If there's a way, we'll find it. But we don't have it yet. [ and the only experience he has, the only comfort he can think to offer is - ] She doesn't even know she's gone.
[ it's just like falling asleep.
hardly comfort, that. ]
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Okay. Okay. [ nope, not there yet. ] Okay. [ there it is, wobbly but accepting it now. she's gone, and they can't bring her back, not yet. ] We need to — stay on this. Dig deeper.
[ he's already thinking about how, considering Pulsar's research and the nature of this world's efforts to colonise the cosmos. ]
Can't afford to lose you again, so. [ then, quieter. ] Just — check-in with me, Stephen.
[ despite his stubbornness, Fitz knows there have been various missteps in his relationships here, including his off-and-on friendship with Strange, 'cause he's out of practice (and out of sorts). only there isn't time for it, when they could all be gone, flickering out of this world in a heartbeat.]
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I will.
[ it won't make a difference to his stability in this world, but it may make a difference to Fitz's. ]
We can't afford to lose you, either. [ perhaps more so. Stephen's background is tangentially useful and his expertise are required every so often, but Fitz has the sort of mind that helps here. and seems to be building the sorts of connections that might get them somewhere going forward.
that, and Stephen's not sure there are many ways to come back from a breakdown here. he'd rather not leave Fitz to take the dummy run of finding out, even if it means pulling sharp on the emotional leash. ] Don't go off the rails on this.
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at we can't afford to lose you, either, he starts to say something, wanting to dispute it in but knowing he can't. 'course they all need to start in this fight, for as long as they're here. god, he wants to run at something — to make a daring, risky move, if it'd meaning getting an answer to all this. ]
I'm not — I wouldn't. [ he would. he might. he already is, slipping in and out of control. strange is right to say don't outright, cutting him off before he can make a reckless call. sure, it's putting a plaster on a bullet wound, but the direction will buy them both time. ]
[ stiffly, ] I won't.
[ better. ]
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Good.
[ though - and gently now, not with pity but a need to be heard over the frenzy of the most immediate blow, ] —If you need to talk about this - [ it's assumptive, and he stops. ... it's also important. ] We've been here a long time now.
[ not a long time in the grand scheme of a life, but a lot longer than any of them would've hoped. with no real end in sight, with new strain coming weekly and old weight never lifted, it's long enough to turn a person incendiary. ]
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a lengthy pause follows. ]
We have. [ a slow admission. vulnerability makes everyone uneasy. and fitz, in particular, has found that it primes him for exploitation. it takes another moment for him to unpack the instinct to spurn the offer, and instead say, ]
We could catch up later. [ slightly rephrasing "talk about this" yep ] If you're not too busy.
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whether or not either of them are really ready to allow themselves vulnerability, it's a start ]
Sure.
[ he's not too busy. and even if he were, some things warrant a reschedule. ]
I'll be around. Drop me a line.
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[ bobbi's calling him home for a spy's-not-quite-goodbye (traditionally, a drink lifted in honour those going or gone), and strange has left him an opening. somewhere to go later, when he's crested over the wave of daisy's loss into a more solid form acceptance and grief.
so fitz will, in a rare moment of reliability, shoot off a text that evening: ]
Still around?
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Drink? I have tea or beer.
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At your flat?
[ daisy did put his address in the shield group chat... ]
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[ the fact that fitz is the last of the modern shield trio to visit is something. the fact that daisy was the first, and that the beer is courtesy of her on that first visit, is another something
well, may as well use it to commiserate. that was always what it was for. ]
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Thanks.
Be there shortly.
[ and he will, buzzing up to Strange's flat in his typical business casual attire (blazer folded over his arm, sleeves rolled to the elbow, and rucksack over his shoulders). evening for them is when the light first starts peaking through the sky. just add the upside down schedule to the list of bizarre happenings, eh. ]
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speaking of lists, Fitz's I.D goes added to the small and soon to be defunct list of implants with access to his place, and he'll find the man of the house sloping around in the sort of wizard slob getup he favors at "home" - all soft fabrics and no sharp angles. he'll also find two ready-poured beers sitting on the everything-but-coffee table in the sparse front room. idle hands hadn't been able to help themselves.
the place itself is fairly open plan as far as its social areas, kitchen visible from the lounge and lounge itself peppered with the bare minimum. functional furniture, little in the way of decor, but the far wall's a window and the panes have yet to darken against the oncoming day. it's nice to be able to watch the dawn pool in around the buildings packed in close. he'll black the glass out once it's done.
he's slightly distracted by it as he welcomes Fitz in. ]
Here goes the end of another day in paradise.
[ ha ha ha ]
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Fitz pauses by the door (a little awkward, a little out of place), at first watching the light and then glancing around the room, too still. not much to take in, besides the friend (?) and beer waiting for him, so he recalibrates quickly enough. just a startled and short laugh at the quip, loosening him up. he discards his bag and blazer (folded neatly over the arm of a chair 'cause Fitz is fussy in all things). ]
Never a dull moment. [ said as he drops in opposite Stephen, a haphazard sort of collapse that warrants a wince. stupid, to forget his bruised insides; that's all. otherwise, he's all tired lines, with most of the minor damage smoothed over. ]
[ dryly, ] You sure you want to leave all this [ a sweeping gesture. ] to become the on-site landlord for our lot?
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It's a sacrifice, sure. [ joking, flippant, and followed by a shrug. ] But who doesn't want to live rent free?
[ it's an inside joke mostly with himself, he of penthouse apartment and Greenwich Village magic mansion fame. he self-indulgently laughs at it too (smiles at it really, the laugh one vaguely-there note and a brief jerk of the chest like a cough) because it's one of those days, then reaches for a beer to help him swallow it down. because it's not funny for about as many reasons as it is. most of them the same reasons. ]
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a generous swig of his beer. ]
For the low price of responsibility. [ great responsibility, as some might say. for the displaced, for the site, the new arrivals. fitz doesn't envy him, being generally unsuited for leadership (backseat driving, however). ] Is that all — going okay?
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Markus'll be consulting the class soon. Hold that thought and ask me again in a week.
[ group-wide conversation of recent weeks has had a decent amount to show them, and he's not expecting a smooth ride. but mostly it's a joke. that's the next hurdle, for now everything's smooth sailing. ]
It's going fine. We're working well together, Gaby's on side. Once we've got a plan drafted she'll pass it on to Morningstar and we'll have a better sense of what kind of support we can expect. It's all a little more bureaucratic than I was expecting my life to be, but we'll get there. [ a path paved with headaches, sure, but a certain path all the same. it'll happen because it has to happen. they don't have any other options outside of leaving new arrivals to burn and spreading the newer intakes across the couches of whoever has one to spare when their welcome at (or the existence of) the current safehouse expires. ] —How about you? How's work?
[ what do you actually do that'd give you enough money to help a guy out. ]
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[ group input, a successful partnership with Morningstar (and Gaby), it all sets a good example. hopefully they can keep walking that path together. another drink, and he glances back to Strange. ]
S'good, actually. [ like he's surprised. maybe he is. the corners of his mouth quirk. ] Moved from generic engineering with Vyonation to aerospace with Pulsar at the start of the month. Still elementary stuff, but it's a lot more interesting, y'know.
[ for the kid who might've worked for NASA or the like, if he hadn't been recruited by SHIELD at 16, with artwork of the stars on his bedroom walls even now. after a beat. ]
And the Hi-Jacks just want good work, so. [ biting the inside of his cheek. ] No problems yet. [ lilted wryly. ]
[ 'cause he's already gotten a lecture or two on playing with the gangs. it's the right move, strategically, and he stands by it. wouldn't have access to the facilities he needs to build gear under the radar without them. (it helps that he likes them,
overall, fitz has settled in well (when one ignores the chasms left in the absence of his partner, his team, and now daisy, specifically). ]
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and if that infrastructure involves a little of the underground, better to be part of it than have it cave out from under them later down the line. this isn't Stephen's wheelhouse. he'll spare Fitz the lecture, especially today. ]
"Yet" works fine for now. Heard any whispers from them on anything else?
[ shitstorms, shrines, etc. does the gang work tree bear fruit beyond its most immediate perks? ]
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he starts picking at the label on he bottle, not paper but a thicker compound. must be better for recycling. ]
There are three things the gangs want no part in. Not just the Hi-Jacks, but all the rest, too. The 66s, the Warlocks and the Kings.
[ supplied in the event Stephen should ever need to judge a situation where the names arise. given the displaced's myriad ties to the underground, it's an eventuality that could plague their new safehouse. ]
[ he holds up a finger. ] First, the UNA. They won't speak of them, won't raid their transports, won't trade their tech. That's for arms-dealers and the higher-ups in organised crime, working with the Petrov Family and the Riverside Mob. [ and another, ] Second, Morningstar. [ wryly, ] Morningstar has a PR problem across the city, as you've noticed, but the gangs fear their war with the UNA, specifically. It's become clear to them that Morningstar agents were in their midst, after several of their own disappeared following the raids, so they're on the defensive. [ which means he needs to be even more careful, playing double-agent. he flashes his hand one more time, three fingers held up. ]
Lastly, they don't want to be associated with any of the mad happenings in the city. [ sighing, ] They're pretty irritated that the news outlets try to link them to things like the outbreak, y'know. Reckon if there's more to be learned, it's higher up the food chain, with the crime families.