.

[rehandle]

Comments

[unorthodoc]

[ Stephen has made the mistake of saying that House can ask him about anything. Time to make him regret it, breaking into his thoughts completely unannounced: ]

You didn't have sex with John.

[rehandle]

[ Hello and welcome to Profound Regret with your host Stephen Strange.

It's technically a statement. He could leave it, be difficult about it, head off a conversation at the pass. But - ]

No.

[unorthodoc]

Why not?

[ Now it's a question. ]

I'm arguably biased, but he's fantastic in bed. That tight, bouncy little tushy. Why wouldn't you want a piece of that?

[rehandle]

[ Jesus Christ. ]

Believe it or not, I had other things on my mind.

[unorthodoc]

Other things like living in my home. Taking over every aspect of my life except that one. You can't fault a guy for being curious. And you must have been getting it somewhere, or we would have been scrubbing sticky black handprints off the walls.

[rehandle]

[ It gets a little stickier here. What to say without landing John in hot water, without lying to House. Only takes him a second or two to decide John likely doesn't keep anything from him on purpose (clearly, or he wouldn't be here asking these questions.) ]

I just gave him what he needed to stay close and keep going. That didn't seem to factor in.

[unorthodoc]

You didn't even think about it? Not even when you were tripping on Murphballs?

[rehandle]

Monster Kool-Aid isn't a cure for blind spots.

[unorthodoc]

What about now?

[rehandle]

House.

[unorthodoc]

I'm sorry, I seem to remember being told "if there's anything you want to know, or that I can do for you, now or in the future, you can name it".

[rehandle]

[ @ God, why ]

It's complicated now.

[unorthodoc]

By what? Has Jim tied your apron strings together?

[rehandle]

I know I cut you out of the world's shittiest month a little early, but you've had the blow by blow. It's not exactly casual. What other word should I use?

[unorthodoc]

You really think the situation is going to get less complicated? We're living in the Mountains of Madness. If we're not careful, we turn into unspeakable things. Casual isn't going on here.

[rehandle]

I'm not expecting it to get less complicated. I'm just saying it is complicated.

[unorthodoc]

So that's not a "no".

[rehandle]

[ A pause. Sitting with the strangeness of the conversation, the discomfort. But... ]

No. [ It's not. ] That okay?

[unorthodoc]

You remember the part where I extolled the virtues of his sweet tushy?

[ It's okay. ]

[rehandle]

[ A coughed out laugh. ]

How could I forget. [ When House has such a way with words... ] It's a shame poker went to shit. Those nights would be so much more normal now.

[ Ha... ha ]

[unorthodoc]

Normal is for chumps. You know how to play bridge?

[rehandle]

[ Ah. There goes that uncanny knack for sealing his own fate again. ]

Yeah.

[unorthodoc]

Great. Bring Jim over tomorrow night. I'll make dinner. You like pizza, right?

[rehandle]

Tomorrow.

[unorthodoc]

The one that traditionally follows today.